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Everyone is too busy nowadays….. April 30, 2007

Posted by sinchan in Uncategorized.
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By F.Abdullah  

No time….that is the most ‘popular word’ of the day. No time to see you go to school…take a bus, walk or go to school yourself…or we will get a van, or school bus for you…to  take you to school. No time to see you take your meals…..make it yourself, or mum have left you something to eat….feed yourself…ok.  No time to talk, play, feed, or tuck you in bed….because I have work to do…other things to do. 

These are some of the excuses left on the doorsteps, excuses left hanging on to the fridge doors …stuck on by magnetic ‘note hangers’ …..excuses hanging on to the earlobes of children….resonating through their minds, into their subconscious…reverberating through their childhood, into their teens and adulthood. Their parents do not have time for them…because they are busy working, or busy with something else. 

 For those urbanites that could afford, they will hire a lived-in maid or amah (maybe Indonesians or Filipinos), or part-time maid to look after the children. Or maybe send the small ones to nursery or babysitter (even though their child is beyond babyhood…maybe ‘care-sitters’ is a more appropriate term,). So….do not be dismayed to discover that your child has cultivated a foreign accent….Indonesian of  Filipino or whatever….. 

Do not be appalled if they have mannerism inculcated by these maids….that looked after them…as children are impressionable lots…like clean slates or a white cloth….imprinted by those that are close to them most of the time. 

What about those children left on their own by parents whom are either working or too busy by other things? Living in a crowded flat, room or house…in urban areas can be stressful. Noisy…. Crowded area with no privacy…how to do the homework? Who to overlook and supervise their time? What about ‘Latchkey’ children? These ‘Home Alone’ children…usually left on their own by parents…and have many negative implications to their welfare and psychology…..( http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Home+Alone+Children§ion=Facts+for+Families )Children when left on their own, too often and for a long period of time are ‘at risk’…( http://www.at-risk.org/) . These children, ‘neglected’ or left on their own may succumbed to ‘negative’ influences such as negative peer pressure, peer in-group influence, drugs, deviant behaviour and…the list goes on. This lack of attention from parents in terms of quality parent-child relationship may result in ‘detachment’. 

So….do not be surprised to face the situation as depicted here in this note left for Mummy and Daddy….    

Dear Mummy and Daddy…. 

Please feed yourself….I have left you food in the fridge
You may heat up the food in the microwave
I hope the food is not too hard for your dentures
Mummy and Daddy dear….amuse yourself with the TV programmes
That is…if your eyesight is clear enough to see
I hope this goes without saying that you will hopefully…
notice this piece of note that I left on the fridge…
Like the many pieces of note that you left on the fridge years ago for me… 

Now…..now DO NOT BOTHER me….can’t you see that I AM BUSY!
TOO BUSY…like you were busy long go
You were TOO BUSY and have no time to give me a hug 
when I needed Love and Care,
The love that you tried to compensate with ‘material things’
Bombarded me with toys and books and piano lessons, tuitions and what- nots
That you explained was eminent for my future and wealth… 

Too bad…I am very poor indeed….though I now owned a fleet of cars and companies
And worldly possessions that fill many corners of the world in the many houses that I owned
Yes..I am rich……
see I could even afford to hire you a maid or nurse to take care of you
and maids to clean your diapers for you if I wanted to
 

I could even send you to the old folk’s home…
if I really feel that I do not have the time and patience
For you have left me RICH in wealth..But POOR in my heart..
Forever there will be a vacuumThat had for years
Waited for your company…..dearest Mummy and Daddy 
Waited for you…..in the long hours of the days and nights
To feel you blowing away my bruises and kiss my away my pain 
To feel your warmth….your hugs and kisses
To hear your voices as I approach slumberland
All in vain….for all those years 

So….hush hush now…….Mummy and Daddy
Occupy yourselves now…you hear
Coz..I am TOO BUSY and have NO TIME for You..
As long ago…you have NO TIME for me 
Just imagine..the above could be a reality………………..(To be continued)

Comments»

1. Reevany Bustami - May 4, 2007

Indeed, time is the most valuable resource nowadays. And yet everyone has it but losing it quickly. Wonder why? Perhaps that’s one of modern day dilemmas. But, what’s the point of all this growth if we cant find time for ourselves, our family, for our humanity…
Reeve/ USM.

2. Shahram Kiaei - May 7, 2007

A Life Lesson

Once upon a time there lived two bears in a jungle. Like all bears they loved Honey. But getting Honey was not easy, it was risky, honey bees were ready to attack anyone who tried to get Honey.

Out of those two bears the First bear tried for Honey and honey bees attacked him. He failed in first attempt. He was so scared of honey bees that he desired for honey but never dared to try again. He played safe. He lost the opportunity to gain strength and vigour he could have got from Honey. He remained an ordinary bear. He lived safe and died safe.

The Second bear was also in quest for Honey, he failed once. But he derived strength from strong desire for Honey. He made many attempts, was attacked many times by honey bees. The tenacious bear finally got Honey he desired for. He gained enormous strength from Honey. Thereafter the Second bear tried many times for Honey, each time with more strength and more confidence, and most of the times he got that.

Now you decide two things, Whose path you want to follow? The one followed by First bear or the one followed by Second bear?

Decide what is Honey for you; great job, profitable business, school admission, faithful companion, peace of mind or just anything you desire for. Give your best shot for it and Don’t give up. But remember, you should always find time for youself, for appreciation of the beauties of the world on which we have closed our eyes most of the time, for your parents and bossom friends. “To be in the World not of it” as Sufists say.

3. Enaytu - May 8, 2007

No matter how busy is u r, the golden time with ur family is the quality time. Happy mothers day mummy…

4. F Abdullah - May 10, 2007

Thank you for all of your responses….it is high time that people start to value other people and things than themselves in this individualistic world of today…and not take people who cared for them, or meaningful significant ‘others’ than themselves for granted…

You are right…Dr. Reevany , Shahram and Enaytu. What a waste of time…in terms of humanity even if there is material progress.Be involved in life…appreciate it to the fullest…take care of those that we held dear, espescially our parents and loved one…start showing that you love them…its just a matter of differences in perspectives of ‘what’ and ‘who’ we view as eminent in our lives.

This reminds me of a story..of a few blind persons being asked what were their perception of an elephant. One person holding the body said that the elephant is like a wall, tough and rough. Another holding the tail of the elephant said that the elephant is like a piece of rope….and another holding the ears said that the elephant is thin and feels like the frond of a leave…There were many perspectives to the same thing and how people view differently….

Sometimes mundane little things, no matter how insignificant ‘matters’..it is many tiny droplets of water that makes the oceans..and many tiny beautiful crystals of sand that makes the beaches…all of us contributes to humanity and life….and that matters..

5. Reevany Bustami - June 15, 2007

Fouzia, You are doing something precious with your time with this website. Keep it up!

6. Lesaya Lopog Sorudim - January 26, 2010

I like the commercial done by the late Yasmin about how the father was neglected and later the daughter and the in-law finally realised their folly. As a little boy growing up the the kampung, I missed my father’s presence. I was with my grandma from the age of 4 to 12. When I have children of my own, I made sure that I spent every bit of spared time with them the best that I could. Fouzia, keep it up. I couldn’t agree with you more.

7. F Andullah - January 26, 2010

Than you Lesaya…yes.. Our parents are important to us as children … As equally important as our children are to us… They are God’s gift to us… We should treasure them and take care of them …

May God Bless you


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